Unauthorized Vacation: I'm NOT getting on the plane!

Spratt decided to capitalize on the fact that there was a warrant for his arrest in Georgia and that he was in their jurisdiction.  Along with the fact that the Puerto Rican extradition document did not have any signatures from any U.S. official, he felt that he could garner enough attention from the airline to get the local authorities involved enough to have custody taken away from the Puerto Ricans and land himself in a situation to where he could contest his extradition from Georgia to Puerto Rico.  As the three of them walked to the kiosk at the gate, he decided that he would inform the airline that he was being extradited illegally and, in the least, they would contact the Atlanta Police Department to verify the legality of it.  If nothing else, he might could delay his boarding enough to attract the attention of some liberal Samaritans in the passenger area.

Upon arriving at the kiosk to obtain boarding passes, Spratt noticed an obviously homosexual employee and thought that this person might be sympathetic to his plight.  As the boarding passes were being issued, Spratt leaned over and told the queer that he was being extradited illegally and that the police officers did not possess the correct documentation for his extradition.  He asked the queer to call the Atlanta Police Dept. as he was, effectively, being kidnapped.  With the stereotypical flamboyant mannerisms of an ‘out of the closet’ queen, the queer stated, “If they didn’t have proper documentation then Delta wouldn’t have sold them a ticket.  Move on sir!”  The Puerto Ricans ushered Spratt down the ramp to the plane with confused looks on their faces as they didn’t understand exactly what Spratt had said to the ticket agent but knew that it was nothing good.

Upon arriving at the open door of the plane, they were greeted by a stewardess who perfunctorily looked at the boarding passes and told them where their seats were.  Spratt leaned over to the lady and informed her that he was being extradited illegally and that he was not going to board the plane although, technically, he was already on the plane as they had crossed the threshold.  The stewardess responded by pointing out that there was a line of passengers behind him and that he was holding everybody up and needed to take his seat immediately.  The two Puerto Rican cops looked baffled at the exchange probably wishing that they had paid more attention in English class.

Spratt saw the line of passengers trying to board and stepped aside so that they could get through.  In doing this, he created a division between himself and the two cops and, as passengers scurried to their seats, he was able to speak more clearly to the stewardess.  “You don’t understand; these cops are extraditing me illegally and I refuse to go with them.  Can I speak to the Captain!?”  “Take your seat sir or I will be forced to call the Captain!”  “Okay; go ahead.”

The Captain comes out of the cockpit after being called by the stewardess and asks Spratt what the problem is.  Spratt, still chained and handcuffed, explains that the Puerto Rican cops do not have the legal authority to take him to Puerto Rico and that he is refusing to board the plane.  The Captain asks the cops to produce an extradition document and they produce the one lacking in signatures.  The Captain states that if Spratt does not go voluntarily then he cannot allow them to forcefully put Spratt on the plane until the document is signed by a U.S. Judge.  They tell the Captain in broken English to give them a few moments and they will resolve the situation.  They pull Spratt out into the corridor where Spratt stands with a smirk on his face knowing that he has almost won the next battle.

Spanish cuss words begin to fly in the corridor.  The Sergeant is the most colorful while Hector is just confused about the turn of events.  The Sergeant tells Spratt that he is going to get on the plane whether he likes it or not and, regardless, he will beat Spratt’s ass when they land in Puerto Rico just for kicks.  Spratt still refuses.  Sergeant calls his superiors on his cell phone while Hector takes the ‘good cop’ route…”Don’t you want to be able to see your family in Puerto Rico?  As soon as we land there, I will make sure that you get a visit with your wife and children before we take you to the prison.”  “I’m not going.”  Hector promises a lot but Spratt has taken on the stoic face of a determined person as he sees the flight attendants preparing for takeoff and knows that it will soon come down to getting on the flight or a possible physical confrontation.  He maintains his demeanor and refuses to board the plane. 

Finally, the flight attendant comes out and states that a decision has to be made immediately as she has to close the door for takeoff.  The Sergeant tells her that we are coming but when she looks at Spratt, he adamantly states that he will not board the plane.  This results in threats of immediate physical harm to Spratt by the Puerto Ricans.  Spratt is steadfast however and refuses to board.  Finally, the flight attendant offers to contact the local police (giving some hope to Spratt) but states that the flight must take off without them.  The Puerto Ricans refuse her offer of calling the local authorities saying that they can handle the situation.  The flight attendant closes the door and maintenance personnel begin closing off the area so that the plane can taxi away.  The Puerto Rican cops take Spratt back to the Gate area and Spratt watches in satisfaction as the plane takes off without him.